College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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