I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
