im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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