I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
