there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
