there was a trapeze. enough said
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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