And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.