Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?