Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company