I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize