I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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