life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Less talking, more tequila
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
