I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
