I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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