So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
