Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
