just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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