At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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