last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
