i permit you to call me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
