Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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