Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
