I showed him my bush... on skype.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
