Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
