I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
