youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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