I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
