How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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