yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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