were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
