He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
