I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
