It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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