did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
