When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize