I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
