WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
