she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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