it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
