I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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