new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
