i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
