i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
