Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
