They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
