I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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