Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
