Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
