the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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