I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
