whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
