I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
