Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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