Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just pee around me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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