just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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