I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
