Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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