Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
