I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
