i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize