I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize